Who wants to love somebody like me? I hit my fist in the gray concrete wall and close my eyes in front of the bright florescent light. The bathroom is a small claustrophobic place, lightened by a single lamp.  On my right is the sink, stripes of corosia fall like a waterfall from behind of it in bright orange, the only color in the room. Behind me there's the shower, the corosia waterfalls decorate that wall as well.

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And then there's my vomit. I wash it off the floor, shaking, still thinking about tonight… or maybe it was yesterday. What time is it? Is it morning already? I look under the bathroom door, It's dark outside. I walk in to the shower and turn on the water. It's cold, freezing, but I don't care. I let the water flow on my head, my shoulders, my arms, my back. Washing the dirty sweat off my body and the make up  off my face.

 

And then I begin crying. Slowly, it starts, without me even noticing. And it becomes a waterfall. The cold water burn me with the tears. Oh god. Oh god. What do I do now? The tears fall down from me, from inside of me… get them out! Get them out of me! Oh god! I'm nearly ripping my eyes off. Out! Out! I scratch my face and my neck and my chest. I scratch my belly and my legs and my back. Oh god. All of it! All of my body! He was inside of all of me! Get it out! get the creature out of me!

 

"Lina?"  a soft knock on the door. "lina it's the middle of the night… are you okay? Can I come in?"

 

I release another cry and hear the door open with a cry sound of itself.

 

"You wanna love somebody like me?" I whisper.

 

"Of course." She answers, her voice sad and lost in the sound of the water.

 

"Meg, I…." I start.

 

She turns the water off and wraps me with a clean towel. "It's okay, love, lets just get you to bed."

 

"You wanna love somebody like me?" I ask again. "If you could love somebody like me you must be messed up."

 

"We are all messed up, love." She smiles, her freckles hit me with warmth.

 

"You messed up too."

 

"Yes I am. Lina. Love. Let's put you in bed."